Share Your Stories
Natasha Benjamin, Founder & Managing Director of Free Your Mind started the charity from a blog sharing her experiences. This has grown into the wonderful service we carry out today. The power of sharing can have a huge impact on us all.
Everyday someone finds themselves in a situation that causes them to lose their confidence or sense of wellbeing, whether it is Domestic Violence, Mental Health issues, bullying or personal loss. Sharing can sometimes help towards healing.
Say as much or as little as you like about your experience; use your name or a pseudonym it is up to you.
By sharing your story you are highlighting important issues that need to be addressed, touching many people that are faced everyday with situations that cause them to also lose their sense of self and wellbeing. There might be someone reading this that feels just like you today.
Submit your story using the form below
Aug 14, 2016
We walk with bullet holes in our backs
but we survive
and we don’t wear envy yet
but we drink sugared tea to forget
but we survive.
We’re no longer welcome on our own doormat splattered with bills
and we carry a half light that disturbs and chills
we are branded with an invisible debilitation but we survive.
copyright Swingerella 2016
I lost my job, my mental health and my home through domestic abuse but I gained my freedom and my voice and these two things are priceless.
June 2, 2016
I’ve been in abusive relationships in the past. I need help controlling my anger. I don’t feel like I’m an angry person but when I lose my temper things usual turn violent before I realize I’ve even lost my temper. I feel like I’ve actually learned a little bit about managing my anger since my last relationship but I still want to put in work to get better at what I’ve been trying to do. I’m a very happy person. I’m usually pretty level headed and easy going and it’s very frustrating for me because of the reputation i’ve made for myself. The city I live in treat me like I’m a monster and a tyrant when that’s not the case. A big part of my problem has to do with drugs and alcohol mainly opiates. Opiates are a terrible addiction and heroin is quite possibly the worse thing to be addicted to. Anu way, most of my issues in the past have stemmed from this drug use. Fast forward to the future. I’m no longer addicted to heroin and I think I’ve found a big missing piece of the puzzle. Music! It’s always been a big part of my life and I can honestly say that it has saved my life. Whenever I feel angry I just listen to music and dance or sing or do whatever it is that I feel like I need to do to release that stress. Anyway, just thought I’d share my story. I hope it maybe helps someone someday and I hope that maybe I hear something from someone if you have anything you’d like to share. To anyone I’ve ever hurt or out my hands on I am very truly and deeply sorry. We are all only human and I hope that we can all learn from our mistakes.
A Powerless Mum
Feb 26, 2016
Feeling the pain for my beautiful 3 girls every day as their dad continues to inflict emotional abuse on his own children ..
Writing this was an outlet for me with a hope that he might stop ..
Don’t give me a message to tell my mum, I get nervous and stutter.. I’m not the one.
I feel your hate for someone I love, don’t use me to hurt her, I just want to have fun.
I’m excited to show you what we have done… My school play is tomorrow and I want you both to come..
Don’t make me choose one parent in the crowd.. I love you both and I want to make you proud.,
Who pays for what, who has me when… Arrange it without me, I’ll be happier then..
My Christmas is Fun but I’m missing my mum, I won’t tell you because.. That bad feeling will come..
Inside I’m angry, confused, anxious and sad….
I love you both the same ..
Don’t make me choose ..
Mum or Dad …
Dec 19, 2015
You see I’m or was Epileptic. Diagnosed at 13 1/2. My mother died abut 6 months later, I wasn’t believed at school that she’d died until they rang home a week later, Then they wanted to have services and be sorry for me. Too late bros. Lost faith in any religion not that I had much to start with. Lucky for me my father was wonderful with me. I’ve had many wonderful relationships. Been engaged and one guy died of a brain tumor. My current Fiance is a locely guy but doesn’t know what I’ve gone through much although I’ve been into the Bethlam Royal Hospital after a self harming issue. It was aweful there for me they made such an issue of giving me my anti epileptic meds cause one of the three I was on was a controlled drug and two of them had to sigh for it for me to be given it. I know this shouldn’t happen and I was made to seem like I was some sort of nuisance to them when they should have been there to help me. Some other patients were in a far worse situation to me and the whole sorry episode was a real wake up call to me that I didn’t want or need or their help well not in the way they chose to administer it to me .I was put in the womens hospital ( clinic) after but I think they didn’t know what to make of me:I either wouldn’t or couldn’t open up to them and all they kept doing was to try to get me to agree to scale down my epileptic medication which when I got back to work I was eventually successful with. But now I get very panicy when stressed and my right eye flickers, though its my left that the weak one .I’m now 62 Thank god I'[m strong that’s all I can say. LOL
Dec 19, 2015
I’m working in retail this Christmas. i’m finding it a bit challenging working with the youngsters bless them they think they’ve got it all worked out until the ‘old lady’ me points out something they really should have seen LOL.
Nov 30, 2015
Having started out in a beautiful relationship, there were some early signs of what was to become constant barrage of emotional abuse which later turned physical. After being an extremely loving and caring wife for a number of years, my ex began to yell and screech at me on regular basis and call me many vile names. It was hard to fathom that someone who I loved had changed so much and it really rocked my emotional state.
Due to the extremity of her abuse, I slipped into depression, lost all self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth and self-belief. I was on a downhill slide and I was travelling very quickly as I began to retreat into my own world for the fear of being wounded even more. Each time I would open up to her to let her know how I was feeling, she would be very empathic towards me but would later use these inner thoughts to further abuse me when her stress levels were out of control.
This began a cycle that continued on for almost twelve months before the abuse turned physical. As I tried many different options to get myself going again, any failed attempts would prove to be a catalyst for her constant taunts of verbal abuse. I become immune to the verbal attacks and suddenly, Jenny* was not getting the reaction out of me that she was accustomed to. I refused to engage in shouting matches and would walk away from her verbal attacks.
This is when it turned physical. Growing up with very good family values and morals and being someone who has never been in a fight in my life, I found myself on the receiving end of physical attacks which left me distraught with fear. I could not believe what was happening and I knew things had to change. After an attack which left me with broken glasses and blood streaming down my face, I knew that I didn’t have to put up with this any longer and made the decision to end the relationship. This was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever had to make because underneath, I knew what a beautiful, loving, caring soul she was but had succumbed to being unable to control her emotions any longer.
With my 17-year-old son living with us, it was him which proved the catalyst for our departure. I did not want him being in an environment where he could hear what was going on behind closed doors and knew this could have a significant impact on him in the future.
The harsh reality of being a male victim of domestic violence is the reason many males commit suicide. There is minimal support offered (a 15-minute phone call with Mensline), which you’re told there is nothing we can do for you, nowhere to turn and you feel there is little hope for the future.
Not only did I lose my wife, I lost my career, my life savings, my dignity, my self-esteem, my self-worth, my pride, my soul, my trust in people, my friends, and now live in a world of isolation that is plagued by mental & emotional scars from PTSD, severe depression and anxiety.
Saying “statistically” women and children require support doesn’t help the 30% of males who suffer from these horrific actions and behaviours. 100% of domestic violence victims require support and assistance to recover from this debilitating problem, regardless of gender, race or religion.
If it wasn’t for the pain it would inflict on my kids and mother, I would have joined the growing number of male victims of domestic violence who see no other option than to commit suicide.
Or maybe I just need to “man up” as the police woman said to me with blood streaming down my face after another attack…
*Names have been changed.
Nov 22, 2015
My Dad used to beat us with a belt and a stick. He also threw my Mum around in temper. Once, he held a poker over my head. For years, the image of myself on the floor and the sight of the rage on his face would come back to me. The trauma of early life has affected my adult relationships.
Nov 14, 2015
I was used as a human punchbag by my brother. He had an explosive temper. My dad was a gentle giant who never hit any of us, but my brothers were both beaten at school by sadistic cane happy teachers. One brother turned into a coward and the other into a bully. My brother started raping me when I was 11. I tried to run away and the local authority took me from my parents and put me in a children’s home which was being run by a paedophile pomp thug who was using us child inmates as prostitutes for rich clients. I think you can guess the effect it has had on me. I have suffered mental health problems all my life and have suffered really poor treatment.
Oct 18, 2015
As a very small child, when you witness domestic violence, it impacts your whole being & every part of your senses to send you spinning into a downward spiral of confusion, shock, fearfulness & suppressed emotions. Every slap or punch you are unfortunate enough to see, causes you the child to experience a lessening of self confidence & self esteem. Even when you cannot physically express how you feel in seeing your mother beaten to the ground, it does not prevent your brain from silently crying out in anguish, resentment & dis-empowerment. Domestic violence scars the child for a lifetime to come ….
FREE YOUR MIND (mod)
Dec 22, 2014
We just wanted to let anyone concerned about Jon to know that he was offered help and support right away and that he now is taking each day as it comes. Thank you for your kind words and concern for him- Free Your Mind x